


Stained Heart

by fadedlullabyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Marines, No Hunting, PTSD, Real Life, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlullabyes/pseuds/fadedlullabyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is heading back to Lawrence, Kansas with his youngest brother after he is dishonorably discharged from the Marines. He has his own demons that haunt him and he can't fight them on his own. .His best friend Benny follows him not to long after he moves to Lawrence. When Adam is bullied at school he meets the kids sexy, yet unattainable teacher. There are some things you just can't fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home is Where Family is

It felt great to be back on American soldier and more importantly to be back home in Kansas. The drive had been a long one from South Dakota to Lawrence. It wasn’t any different than normal except it had been a few years since Dean Winchester had made this particular drive. The last event that had him driving the distance had been his deportation overseas. 

It was great to be driving and not have to worry about random bombs or civilians. Dean put a tight lid on those thoughts and allowed his eyes to drift over to his youngest brother, Adam. The kid was only fifteen and awkward as hell; worse off than Dean had been when he was his age. The stereo of his Impala was playing Kansas and Adam was making a point of glaring out of the window. 

Dean knew his brother didn’t want to leave Sioux Falls and his friends behind. He’d been living with Bobby, a man who was more family than a friend. Bobby had taken care of Adam and Sammy while Dean had been serving. He couldn’t have thanked the man enough for what he did since he couldn’t take his brothers with him to the Middle East. 

Adam and Sam had understood what it meant when he left two years ago to serve his country. It hadn’t been a happy time since the two boys were used to Dean being around. He had raised them since he was fourteen and their father had died. The stability Dean had supplied them with had been phenomenal and both boys started to do better in school as Dean worked to supply everything they needed. It had taken a lot of work for Dean to dodge the cops and child services; both parties finally giving up when they couldn’t catch the Winchesters. 

“Don’t look so glum, turd.” Dean finally said with a small smile and watched as Adam jerked his head to stare at his older brother. 

“You know why, princess.” Adam snorted with his own small smile. Dean didn’t call him a bitch like he did Sam and he was thankful for that when he had been five and repeated everything Dean said. 

“I know, Adam. But think of this way, man, you get to see all those old friends.” Dean knew how much friends meant to Adam and the kid had been heartbroken when he left his old ones behind in Sioux Falls. 

“And what about you? Gonna hook up with Lisa again?” Adam shot back and poked Dean in his shoulder. He knew what Lisa had meant to Dean and what she had uncovered about his older brother. 

“You know that’s not gonna happen, dude. She got married to a guy named Victor.” There was a moment of silence as Dean thought on exactly how he would approach Lisa if he saw her. There wasn’t any love lost between but they still had remained friends.

“I know, just tryin’ to make conversation. Sam isn’t here to dumb us down.” Adam’s smile was sad as he thought of his other brother in college, studying law. Sam would be the first of them to go to college since Dean never had the chance. There would always between Sam and Adam that Dean never had the chance to be a normal teenager. 

“Oh, Sammy. We’ll make sure to skype him once we get there. I’ve already got everything set up so we don’t have to mess around with the mundane crap. You won’t have to start school until next week, no sense in you goin’ on a Thursday. So enjoy your freedom.” The sun was beginning to set and they covered most of the road between Sioux Falls. Dean knew they only had two hours to go at the most when he saw the exit sign for Maryville. 

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.” Adam rolled his eyes and shifted his legs since they were beginning to fall asleep. 

“Sam won’t abandon us.” Dean tried to sound reassuring but he knew what Sam thought of their father and had always dreamed of being away from the family. It hurt Dean deeply that Sam had went to college so far away but Adam could see his pride when he talked about Sam. 

“I know. I guess it’s empty nest syndrome. I missed Sam’s graduation and I feel like shit.” The guilt from missing Sam’s graduation had been with Dean for months and haunted him like a vengeful spirit. 

“You haven’t been home long enough to experience that.” Adam snorted as he put a foot on the dash of the Impala. 

“Hey! Foot off Baby! She doesn’t deserve that.” Dean growled as he tried to swat Adam’s foot off the dash. The younger man complied and groaned about how it was just a car. 

“She isn’t just a car, Adam. She’s my-”

“Baby. I know, princess. It’s just, why is there so much sentimental value?” Adam asked. He was younger than Dean by almost a few decades. It didn’t bother him that he was so much younger but he hadn’t known about his brothers until his mom had died and he’d been shipped off to John Winchester. 

“This car was all we had sometimes as Dad drug us around the country. He couldn’t stand to live in Lawrence anymore and chased a ghost. Mom was killed in a fire, as you know, but he was convinced someone had set it.” Dean’s tone was sad as he spoke about his mother and her untimely death. Adam rarely heard the story because it was a touchy subject for Dean and Sam. 

“You built it back up from the ground a few times right?” Adam asked curiously, knowing he was right about that fact. One of his favorite memories was helping Dean build the Impala again after a particularly bad accident on a Saturday night. Dean wouldn’t let anyone touch his baby and he had it towed up to Bobby while he worked on it in the summer. 

“Yeah. You even helped one time. You remember?” Dean’s lips quirked up into a small smile. 

“You taught me the basics that day. Sam was pissed because he didn’t want to see the car like that.”

“And because you didn’t take him to the library.” Adam supplied in a sing song voice. “He was always bitchy when he couldn’t get new books.”

“Dude, you know how hard it was to keep that sasquatch in clothes?” Dean laughed, forgetting he was talking to Adam; his little brother. 

“It was hard wasn’t it?” Adam asked, his voice low and filled with regret. 

“Shit, Adam. I don’t regret any of it. You guys had the brains and a future.” Dean’s voice was gruff; filled with something that was almost like guilt. He had never been smart but give a tool in his hand and he could fix almost anything. He had learned everything from Bobby and Rufus who were co-owners of Singer and Turner Auto. 

“You’re smart too, Dean. Just in a different way.” Adam scrunched his nose at the admission and the chick flick moment but the words needed to be said. 

“Enough with the feelings, you know I don’t like it.” Dean could read Adam’s mind since he knew his brother’s so well. He made it a point when he started raising them at a young age to know what was wrong with them and began to read their body language. Dean knew the kids just as well as he knew himself; which was he was giving Sam his space. 

“Yeah, yeah. No chick flick moments. Can’t we change the station? I’m tired of classic rock.” Adam moaned and rested his head back against the seat. He was getting restless and wanted out of the car as soon as possible. 

“Remember the golden rule, turd?” Dean asked. 

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.” Adam groaned as he shut his eyes. That was Dean’s golden rule and no one could break it. He would pay money to see the person who could actually talk Dean into changing the radio station.  
“That’s right! My car, my rules.” Dean’s smirk was triumphant as they passed a sign for the Lawrence exit. 

The car was silent as the city came into view and Dean couldn’t help but think at how it didn’t really change since he had been there. Coming back to this place was hard but it was where his family was from and family meant everything to Dean. It was what had kept going after the shit that had went down in Afghanistan and held him glued together. The idea of Sammy and Adam on the other side of the world had him dragging his ass home after the dishonorable discharge. 

“This is a pretty small town.” Adam said, used to the slightly larger town of Sioux Falls. It wasn’t a bad thing and wouldn’t be as overwhelming he supposed. 

“It’s nice and quiet most of the time.” Dean said, pulling from his memory as a four year old. He had missed Lawrence and knew he would visit his mother’s grave tomorrow first thing in the morning. There was another person he would like to visit but he would never show his face at her grave; he didn’t deserve to see it. 

“That’s good. You seem to really love it here.” Adam’s smile was reassuring and Dean found peace in it oddly enough. He had an anchor and it wouldn’t be taken from him because he wouldn’t allow any harm to come to Adam. It was just wired into Dean to be a protector. 

“I can’t lie when I say I missed it. There are lot of good memories here along with the bad.” Dean’s face was almost readable in the dark and Adam frowned. In all the years he had known his oldest brother, he had never settled down. It was like Dean didn’t think he deserved to be happy and he let that drown him. 

~*~

The sun had barely risen when Dean was up and already making breakfast. He had gotten up just before dawn and went shopping while Adam was still sleeping. Their refrigerator was bare since they had just moved into the house and had gotten in late last night. He didn’t want to wake Adam for something as trivial as grocery shopping. 

Dean flipped the bacon as he heard his brother stir upstairs. He hadn’t bought his original house, it wasn’t on the market and Dean didn’t think he could live after the fire that took his mother’s life. It was that one memory that had kept him away from Lawrence all these years and yet here he was back where it all began. 

“How can you be such an early riser?” Adam mumbled as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He almost missed the chair when he sat down at the table.  
“Marines do that, turd. It’s not a habit you can kick after a few years.” Dean answered as he made up a plate for Adam. 

“It helped your sunshine personality, princess.” Adam shot back before he took a bite of his bacon. It was just as good as it was when he was a kid and Dean made it to cheer him up after a bad night. 

“Right. I’m going on a run, maybe visit Mom’s grave.” Dean said with a shrug of his shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see it again after all these years. The last time he had visited her headstone had been after his father had passed and he spoke to her of the burden he had to bear. 

“See ya. And be wary of strangers with candy.” Adam reminded his brother; taking the opportunity to lecture his brother like he had done to him multiple times. 

Dean waved a hand before he was out of the house and running down the street. It was kinda ironic that he chose a house that was in distance of Lawrence Cemetery. Dean had a need to be near his mother since she had been the only one he could speak to when he was a child. On his tour Dean had kept a picture of his mother in his helmet and spoke to her when things got bad. It helped tremendously but it did nothing to keep the nightmares away.

He waved at people as he passed them but only got confused looks for his efforts. Dean had always tried to be friendly and sometimes it came out as a bit overbearing. He ran until he reached the cemetery and passed through the gates. There was a slight sheen of sweat on his brow and Dean rubbed it off with his forearm. 

The path was familiar to his mother’s grave and when he arrived there, all he could do as stand still in the quiet morning. Dean’s heart hammered in his chest as he stared at her headstone, he hadn’t even brought flowers for her. 

“I’ll bring some flowers next time, Mom. I promise. I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long. But I joined the Marines, just like Dad. I was on tour for a few years and they were hell.” Dean said as he touched the headstone gently. 

“I...did things that you wouldn’t be proud of and I can’t talk about them. Not around you or anyone else.” Dean’s voice cracked slightly as he jerked his hand. “Sammy went to Stanford, Mom. He’s gonna be a lawyer. He’s in his second year and he’s just blowing through the courses like the smartass genius he is. I’m proud of him and I know you would be too. I just wanted to say hi. Adam’s back at the house and I have to go back. But I’ll see you again soon.”

Dean said his farewell and stepped away from Mary Winchester’s grave. It was one of the hardest things he had to do in his life. He walked through the cemetery and noticed a grave that was set off to the side. Even from this distance he could read her name and Dean made a point to avert his eyes from it. He didn’t even deserve to glance at it and he had no right to stand at it and speak to her, no matter how sorry he was. 

When Dean was out of the graveyard, the vice around his heart was gone. The pressure was no longer there and he could walk around freely. He wouldn’t run back to the house and would take his time to notice the small things around Lawrence. It had to have change somewhat in the last few years, no matter how miniscule. 

These were his old stomping grounds and he wanted to remember the good times before everything had went south. Every few years his father would return and stay for a few months to a year before taking off again to God knew where. It was a life that hadn’t been all that great and most of the time Dean had been looking after Sam while John was out questioning people about a man that didn’t exist. 

The neighborhood that Dean chose to live in was nice and filled with two story houses. He had saved what money he didn’t give to Sam and Adam for a house and saved up a nice little sum. Dean didn’t live a glamorous life but it was enough to get by. 

He had sacrificed enough for his small and broken family and Dean wouldn’t change a thing. His choices had been of his own free will and Dean never regretted what he had done. Guilt ate at his soul, sure. But it was better than having all three of them shipped off to separate foster homes. 

The walk seemed shorter than the jog when Dean found himself on his front porch steps. He shook his head and opened the door without having to use his keys. Dean wouldn’t scold Adam since he found his brother in the living room sifting through their boxes. He wished Sammy was here to help sort through his own stuff. He would be back over Thanksgiving break and Dean couldn’t wait for him to see his place. 

“Should we even bother to unpack Sam’s stuff?” Adam asked as he picked up the boxes with his name written on it. His expression clearly stated how much he missed Sam and Dean felt a tug at his heart. 

“We’ll unpack some of it, turd. Just his clothes. He can decorate as he sees fit.” Dean answered as he ruffled Adam’s blond hair and laughed at the indignant look on his little brother’s face. 

“Hey, Thanksgiving isn’t that long off.” Dean said before he grabbed his own stuff and sauntered off to his own room.

He had given Adam the master bedroom since it felt too odd to be in a room that big. The time he spent in Afghanistan had messed with him, Dean knew that much. He stood in the middle of his room, glad he had made the trip down a week ago to set up the beds. Dean didn’t like to waste time and would cut corners when he could. 

It felt weird pulling out his old things that had been in storage for so long. He had missed his leather jacket most of all and was glad that Adam hadn’t swiped it yet. Dean would buy the kid his own when Christmas came and he couldn’t wait to see his reaction. He spoiled his brothers but Dean didn’t know any different. It was just who he was. 

Dean took his time pulling everything out and putting it up. He lost himself in some of the memories that were attached to his belongings. It was odd even for him but Dean didn’t mind when he saw Sammy’s smiling face when he was eight. 

They were the good times before he decided to join the Marines and serve his time in the war until his discharge. Dean didn’t want to lose his mind in that part of his since it was the equivalent of Hell to him. He didn’t want to think of what he had done and so he pushed it to the back of his mind as he grabbed the flask Bobby had given him. 

Dean always had whiskey on hand to center himself. The bitter and burning liquid always seemed to bring him back; if he didn’t drink too much that was. Dean had a problem cutting himself off when he was trying to run from his demons. 

“Hey, Dean. Can you help me move my bed?” Adam asked from his doorway. 

A sigh of relief left Dean’s lips since his brother prevented him from walking down memory lane to a place he didn’t want to go. Dean placed a photo frame of his old unit on his dresser face down. He couldn’t look at her face and only did so when he was drunk enough and needed to be reminded of what he had done. One day, maybe he could speak about her, but until then, Dean would keep running.


	2. Almost The Same Old Song and Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, updates won't be this often unless my moose of a muse decides to cooperate. Enjoy the chapter, kiddos.

Dean had been putting dinner when the phone rang in the house. Adam was upstairs doing whatever it was fifteen year olds did these days. It had been a few weeks since they moved to Lawrence and Dean thought things were going okay. He hadn’t found a job yet in Lawrence and it wasn’t for lack of applying for jobs. 

But Dean hoped that a call came through soon. His pension wasn’t enough to live on for both him, Adam, and Sam. He knew his younger brother didn’t appreciate the money that came in the mail but Dean couldn’t help himself. He was aware Sam had a job and he was working his way through college. Dean couldn’t bring himself out of his father figure role and didn’t want to. It was all he had. 

“Winchester residence.” Dean answered as he cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“Wow, you sound domesticated for once, jerk.” Sam’s voice came over the line and Dean brightened up. 

“Shut it, bitch.” Dean snorted, putting the last of dinner away into the fridge. “What has you calling?”

“You know what, Dean. I don’t need this money. I’m doing fine on my own.” Sam said; his tone reluctant. 

“Let me take of you, Sammy. I know it’s not much but I want to help.” Dean made his way to the living room and sat down, placing his feet up on the cushions. 

“Dean, I’m twenty. I can support myself. It’s Adam who needs your fatherly advice.” Dean could almost see Sam’s bitchface number three hundred and twenty one. He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. He kept it that way after the Marines and Dean was too lazy to try anything new. 

“I know, Sam. But you’re family and I have to take care of you. Just let me do this, please?” Dean didn’t like begging but with Sam he had to. The man wouldn’t give him an inch and he had to fight for any ground he gained with his brother. 

“Fine. If you makes you feel like a macho man I’ll let you do it. How are things in Lawrence?” Sam was an expert at changing the subject when he needed to. And Dean didn’t mind it, not really. He didn’t like fighting with Sam because their fights were extraordinary and Adam hated it. 

“If you can believe it, the town’s the same. The same people with a few new faces. I haven’t found a job yet. Everyone’s been in their line of business for centuries.” Dean ran a hand over his face and stared at the ceiling. He felt useless in that moment and he just couldn’t deal with that emotion so he squashed it down as best he could. 

“That doesn’t really surprise me, Dean. It’s a quiet town. I’m sure you’ll find something soon. I remember there being a lot of auto places. Surely one of them is hiring.” Sam wasn’t sorry for Dean and it was just what he needed in that moment; someone with a clear head who could talk Dean down. 

“Yeah, I suppose. I’ll check around tomorrow. So how are things with you?” Dean asked, genuinely interested in Sam’s life. They hardly saw each other these days and the phone calls were even rarer. It was something Dean hated but he had no control over it because he didn’t want to suffocate Sam. 

“They’re great. Classes are fine and I broke up with Jess.” Sam said, totally blindsiding Dean. He had thought the kid was hooves over horns for the girl and to hear they broke up was certainly something he didn’t think he had ever heard. 

“Really? Wow, Sammy, breaking hearts later rather than sooner?” 

“Don’t call me Sammy, Dean. You know I hate it. But yes, I did. And it wasn’t because I met someone else. The fire just wasn’t there anymore, you know?” Sam sounded as though he was resigned to his fate. “But we’re still good friends, which is good. I was afraid I wouldn’t keep Jess in that way.” 

“What did I say talking about feelings, Sam? It’s bad enough I had to remind Adam.” Dean groaned. Sam knew his rules better than Adam since he’d been around Dean longer and had to live with him before their youngest brother came into the picture. 

“Right, rule number forty-two; no chick flick moments.” Sam answered like he was twelve again and learning Dean’s rules all over again. It had been cute back then but now it was just damn sad. 

“Glad you remember, Sammy. So are you chasing any new tail?” Dean had to resist the urge to waggle his eyebrows because Sam couldn’t see the action. He needed to set up Skype again so he could see Sam face to face. 

“No. But I have this awesome friend, you’ll like her. She’s absolutely hilarious and I have no idea why we didn’t hang out before.” 

“Sounds like you’re in love.”

“No way! Anna’s a lesbian, jerk!” 

Dean didn’t hear anything past the name. His heart seized in his chest as he froze. Words couldn’t leave past Dean’s lips as he sat there and was thrown back into Afghanistan. The living room melted before his eyes and Dean was stuck back under that unforgiving desert heat. His unit was around him as they were driving down what they called Hell’s Road.

_The sun had been harsh that day as it always was and Dean was thankful that Benny had a spare set of sunglasses as he drove. Anna was in the back seat of the Jeep cracking a joke about how her brother would absolutely adore Dean._

_“Seriously, Milton, can it!” Dean said as he tried to shove the picture of Anna’s brother out of his face. He didn’t want to look at it, didn’t care to._

_“Aw, Dean! C’mon, I know you’re sweet on blue eyes!” Anna laughed before placing the photo back into her helmet. It was the safest place for their photos, away from the sun and the dirt so that it wouldn’t be ruined. Dean didn’t give Anna an answer, just flipped her the bird when the Jeep came to a halt._

“...Dean! Hey, man, answer me damnit!” Sam’s voice was loud in Dean’s ear and was enough to jar him from the trip down memory lane. 

“I’m here, Sammy.” Dean’s voice was gruff, thick with emotion that didn’t normally suit Dean. 

“I’m coming home over fall break and don’t tell me no. There’s something wrong with you and you won’t talk to Adam. I want to see you, Dean. It’s been years since I’ve seen you and I want to do it soon. Don’t even think about arguing with me!” Sam’s voice had taken on that tone Dean hated because it meant business. 

“Fine, but there’s nothing wrong with me, bitch. But don’t tell Adam, I want it to be a surprise for the kid. He misses your geek fests.” Dean’s voice was still wavering a little but it was better. His heart was still trying out of his chest as he sweated bullets. He clutched his free hand into a fist and felt his nails dig into his skin; creating enough pain to center himself. 

“Just take care of yourself, Dean. Okay? I know you worry about us but we worry about you too. Now put Adam on the phone, I want to talk to him.” Sam’s voice left little room for argument and so with a groan Dean sat up and left the couch. 

He knocked on Adam’s door once and smiled when he heard his brother curse Dean’s very existence. A very disgruntled Adam appeared in the crack in the door and Dean tried to keep a straight face. He held the phone up, out of Adam’s reach and let a teasing smile pass over his lips even though it was a bit shaky. 

“I have someone on here who wants to speak to you.” Dean teased, dangling the phone in front of Adam’s face. 

“Really? Who?” Adam asked, trying to to reach for the phone only to scowl when Dean pulled it away. 

“You think I’m gonna hand it over that easy, turd?” 

“Can it, turd! Let me have the phone.” 

Dean had to shut his eyes for a moment because she was standing in front of him and not Adam. It took a moment for him to calm down and remind himself he was in Lawrence. When Dean opened his eyes again, Adam had the phone in his hand, speaking to Sammy in a worried tone. 

“Princess, don’t give us a scare like that again.” Adam said before closing the door. Unlike Sam, Adam was uncomfortable about this sort of thing and ignored Dean instead of speaking about what happened. Dean was grateful for that because he couldn’t speak of her, hadn’t since she died. 

“Whatever.” Dean said before leaving Adam to speak with Sam. 

~*~

The knock at Dean’s came at ten o'clock just after he got home from his morning jog. Old habits died hard, especially those instilled while being in the service. He grumbled at the door before he opened and was met with the tall frame of his brother from the old unit, Benny LaFitte. 

“Benny?” Dean asked before he was engulfed in a bear hug. He could feel the scratch of Benny’s beard against his cheek and tried to push his friend away. 

“Hey, brother.” Benny said in that gruff voice of his. His hand stayed on Dean’s shoulder so he could keep Dean grounded. Benny wasn’t a fool and knew just bad off his friend was. 

“What the hell are you doin’ here?” Dean asked, blinking his eyes a few more times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things again. Ever since he thought of Anna, Dean hadn’t been sleeping that well. 

“You really think I’d let you take off without me?” Benny asked, raising a dirty blond eyebrow. 

“Well...not really, but a guy could dream, right?” Dean asked grabbing Benny’s shoulder in return and gripping it tight. The simple gesture told Benny just how much Dean had missed him because he couldn’t vocalise it. 

“I told ya, Winchester, you ain’t gettin’ rid of me that easily.” Benny drawled as they walked into the house. 

“How’re you settling in?” Benny asked curiously as he observed the house with a careful eye. He was looking for any little sign that Dean was out of sorts; it was purely Benny being overprotective. 

“It’s been going well. Adam has adjusted to the new school after bitching about leaving his friends behind. The kid’s doing well and if he’s stumped on homework, he’ll call Sammy.” Dean said as he grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one over to Benny. 

They opened their beers at the same time and held the bottles up in a silent toast to their comrades. They both took a drink and stood for a few minutes in awkward silence. Benny and Dean were best friends and thought of each other as brothers more than anything. If they hadn’t thought of each other in such a way there probably would have been more between them. 

“And you can’t help him why?” Benny asked, lounging against the counter. 

“You know I’m not smart, Benny.” Dean snorted. 

He had told Benny his whole life story one night while they had went drinking back on base. Dean hadn’t meant to tell Benny that’d he had dropped out of high at the age of fourteen to take care of his brothers and that years later he only got his GED because he wanted to be a Marine. But Dean didn’t really regret it because Benny never judged Dean like other people he had met. 

“You passed the GED with some high scores for someone who hadn’t been to school in years.” Benny retorted, taking a swig of his beer. His blue eyes were studying Dean, waiting for any sort of denial on Dean’s part. 

“The GED was easy, Benny. Adam is studying physics already. I don’t know shit about physics.” Dean ran a hand through his short hair. 

“But still, Dean, don’t sell yourself short. Have you found a job yet?” 

“Not yet. I don’t have many marketable skills and no one wants to touch me with a ten foot pole.” And it was the truth. Dean had spent his younger years doing menial labor and odd jobs. He couldn’t risk anything that could track him and alert child services. 

“Well, lucky for you I’m opening up a restaurant down on main.” Benny said with a smirk, knowing he had Dean by the balls. There was no way the other man would refuse his offer for a job. 

“And I remember you’re a mighty fine cook.” 

“Damnit, Benny. You can’t just offer up a job like that.” 

“Yes I can. I know what you’re capable of, Dean. I know your pension isn’t all that great and you have to put Sam and Adam through school.” 

Dean tried to open his mouth to argue but nothing came out. He just glared at Benny with angry green eyes and sipped his beer. Dean wasn’t one who liked to receive handouts and this definitely felt like a hand out. 

“This feels wrong,” Dean said after a few moments. And it did. He couldn’t just take the offered job but Benny would insist and he was a persuasive mother fucker when he wanted to be. 

“Just take it, brother.” 

“Fine, you win.” Dean knew he was done for when Benny gave them that particular look; the one that meant Benny had him by the balls. 

“See, was that so hard?” Benny laughed, his eyes lighting up. He had missed Dean more than he could express. They weren’t good with their emotions and it was obvious but they understood each other. 

“No, Benny. But I think I lost some of my pride.” Dean laughed it off and though Benny dismissed it, he could see Dean needed an anchor. 

“It’s okay. Wouldn’t be the first time. Remember the incident with Balthazar?” 

“Don’t bring up Roche and my walk of shame. It was bad enough the first time.” Dean groaned and rubbed his temples.

Balthazar had been sex on legs and slept through almost half of their unit. Dean knew he had been trouble but then again, Dean had always been attracted to it. So when Balthazar propositioned him Dean couldn’t say no. Benny had known the sordid details and helped Dean through everything. 

“You know, he still talks about you. In fact, he might pop up soon.” Benny said with a smirk, keeping an eye on Dean. 

“You know how to make a man want to kill himself.” 

“Balthazar isn’t that bad, Dean. And he does genuinely care for you, guy’s just an odd duck.” Benny said and patted his friend on the shoulder. He knew how Dean could get and Benny knew just how to calm him down. 

The front door opened and Adam came striding into the kitchen; eyes flickering between Benny and Dean. He recognized the man from the pictures Dean had shown him of happier times over in Afghanistan and wondered just what the man was doing here. 

“Adam, this is Benny. The asshole that moved across the street from us.” Dean snorted. 

“And part of his former unit.” Benny offered his hand to Adam and shook it eagerly when the kids hand slipped into his. 

“Are you stalking Dean?” Adam asked seriously, fixing Benny with a harsh glare. “He doesn’t need bullshit.” 

“I’m here to help him. I just gave him a job. And hey, if you want one, I can give you one too.” Benny offered with an easy smile. 

“Is what he’s doing legal, Dean?” Adam asked as he dropped his bag on the floor and grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge. 

“It’s legal. Do I even want to know what was going through that head of yours?” Dean joked and finished his beer off.

He threw the empty bottle into the trash and considered a second one. The thought of his father kept Dean from grabbing another bottle. He didn’t want to be anything like his old man and after shielding Adam and Sam for so many years, he couldn’t be that person around them. His brothers deserved more than the childhood Dean had and he would make sure they had. 

“Well, now that we established I’m legal, I’m gonna head home. Take care, Dean.” Benny said as he dropped a hand to his friend’s shoulder before heading out. 

“So that’s Benny?” Adam asked, breaking the silence that had fallen around them. 

“Yeah, that’s Benny. I can’t believe that asshole followed me here.” Dean said after a few moments of silence. “Shoulda known he can’t keep his nose outta my ass.”

“At least you have a friend.” Adam snorted and took a seat at the bar in the middle of the kitchen. 

He watched Dean closely in an attempt to assess Dean’s mood now. He knew his brother had been through a lot of shit even though he wouldn’t speak about it. With Benny around maybe Dean could deal with whatever had happened and finally talk to someone. Adam could see Dean was stretching himself too far and it worried him; not because Dean was his caregiver but because Dean was family and he would do what he could for his family.


End file.
